Dan Vs New Mexico: The Musical
by AgentGoldfish
Summary: Inspired by Phineas and Ferb's Rollercoaster: The Musical, AgentGoldfish brings you Dan Vs New Mexico: The Musical!
1. Chapter 1

_**DAN VS NEW MEXICO: THE MUSICAL**_

Dan was asleep in his bed. He awoke to his alarm, as usual, and hit his head on the hanging lamp.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!

Oh, oh oh how!

How can I never leeeeeeeaaaaaaarn!" Dan sang

"I put this lamp here once, I need another guy to do my stunts! I have to put this lamp somewhere else! "

Dan got up. As soon as he put his foot down, he slipped on a burrito.

"Woah, woah, woah,

why did I not pick up that burrito!

I blame New Mexico."

He then walked forward, stubbing his toe on a "Pirates of New Mexico" diorama.

"Ow! My foot! My right big toe!

How could this happen, oh it hurts so!

I blame New Mexico!"

Dan went outside. He stepped forward and tripped on an armadillo. His face slammed against the street. The armadillo rolled by and hissed.

"D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!

That armadillo!

What is it even doing in Californi-o?

Grr…. **I blame New Mexico!**"

Dan walked to his car. The window was broken open.

"Oh oh no, not my car's window!

Who could do this, I need to know!

(Spoken) Cactus, red dirt, adobe? Only one state could be responsible…

(sung) The one I blame isn't a foe, or even a show, but the one, the only…

**NEW MEXICOOOOOOOO!**"

The title came on screen "Dan Vs: New Mexico" as it appeared on the very first episode. "The Musical" was slapped on below it as if it were on Broadway.

Dan called his best friend Chris. He sang to him "Chris!

My friend, my buddy til the end,

help me find out how,

how to destroy New Mexico!"

"Dan? Dan, is that you? Why are you singing?" Chris asked "Do I have to sing too?" he added

"Of course you do, you blundering buffoon!

This is a musical tune!" Dan responded

"Oh-okay… umm…" Chris began to rap "Here it says,

New Mexico became a state 1912,

15 years before the candy PEZ" Dan had a very confused look on his face. Chris didn't strike him as the rapper type.

"The state bird is the roadrunner,

the bird my girl ain't gonna find funner.

The state song is Oh Fair New Mexico,

as opposed to the poor old Mexico" Then the rap music stopped. Chris began to sing "Oh Fair New Mexico".

"Enough of this, what are its weaknesses? How do I hurt it!"

"It doesn't have any of that information. You should go to the library"

"Fine, meet me there" Dan hung up

"Yeah, I kinda have to work today – Dan? Dan? *sigh* I wonder if I'll have to sing any more" Chris wondered aloud and headed to the library. He looked around while he waited for Dan to show up. He began looking at a book when Dan walked in.

"None of this is helping!" he yelled. Chris shushed him. Music started up.

"Never shush me!

I'll yell if I want!

If I wanna be, I will be loud!

Never shush me, NOBODY shushes me!

I can be as loud as my aunt!" Chris shushed him again. That got Dan especially mad. He began throwing books at him during the next verse of his song.

"If I ever want to yell,

I don't need you to tell,

me if I can yell or not,

I'll do it even if I fought!" Chris shushed Dan once more. That was the last straw. Dan grew incredibly mad, his face was all red. During the final verse of his song, he was punching Chris, and Chris fought back.

"If you ever want me quiet,

well man, go ahead and try it!

But you'll never get me to shut up,

especially with the eyes of a pup!" Dan and Chris were thrown out of the library.

"Well, that's the first time I've ever been thrown out of a library…" Chris said

"Eh, you get used to it." Dan said


	2. Chapter 2

"So now what?" Chris asked

"Duh, we go to another library" Dan responded

"Can we get some food first? I need lunch"

Dan began to sing "It's 10 am!"

"Food doesn't follow a clock!" Chris responded in song

"I suppose you'd like a ham?"

"Oh, that would rock!"

"You're always eating… and eating… when you see a food you have to try it"

"I'm on a diet!"

"You keep eating… and eating…if you keep up you'll lose your hair!

"It's twelve-o-clock somewhere!"

"Why… you…. GAH I'M OUT OF LYRICS! Grr…. Let's just go to the diner…" Dan sulked.

They ate their 10 am lunch and prepared to go to the next library

"Hurry up, you're wasting time" Dan said

"Is there a time limit on revenge?" Chris asked

"There's an old saying, 'revenge is a dish best served immediately'"

"I don't think that's a saying…" Dan knocked over Chris' drink. "Hey!"

They headed to the library. "Can I trust you to behave this time?" Chris asked. Dan pinched him. "Ow! What was that for?"

A song began. "You talked to me like a kid, this I must forbid.

You talk to me like that once more, I'll pinch you til you fall on the floor!

I don't like being treated like that

If you continue I may beat you with a bat" Dan sang. Chris looked scared when Dan threatened to hit him with a bat.

"I will continue to pinch you

Until you beg for mercy

You will definitely not feel new

In fact you'll feel worse-y!"

"Can we just go in now?" Chris asked, interrupting Dan's song. Dan glared at Chris for a second then said "…Fine". They went into the library. Dan began to walk to the books, but Chris stopped at the desk.

"What are you doing?" Dan asked him

"I wanna ask this librarian to help us find what we're looking for" Chris responded

"Help us? For FREE?" Dan wondered

"That's what they do"

"Can I help you?" The short librarian asked, climbing stairs made of books

"I doubt it" Dan said

"Can I help _you?_" the librarian asked Chris

"We need information on New Mexico" Chris responded

"Right over there between the 900s and the 908s" The librarian answered

"HE'S SPEAKING IN CODE! GET HIM!" Dan sang

"IT'S THE DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM" Chris sang back

"IT'S STILL A CODE!" Dan sang

"IT'S NOT LIKE IT WILL OPEN ATTACK MODE!"Chris sang

"It's still a code-code code-code-code-code-code" Dan sang

"It's got a light load-load load-load-load-load

It's just the DEEEEWEEEEY DECIMAL SYSTEM!

IT'S NOT LIKE A SORE THUMB

IT WON'T STICK OUT

IT WON'T HELP OUT

AND IT WON'T HURT YOU" Chris sang back

"So he's just talking about books?" Dan sang

"He's not discussing his looks" Chris responded in song

"So we shouldn't attack him?" Dan said

"Not unless literature is a bad thin'" Chris rhymed

"Very well. Hey librarian, don't you think we've tried all the normal books?"

"We need some _special information"_

"How do we hurt New Mexico?"

"Hurt New Mexico? Why would you wanna do that?" The librarian asked. Dan began to sing

"You ask me why

I'd like to try

To hurt New Mexico

It wronged me

Well don't you see

It broke my window!

You want to know

Well I will show

You how this happened

I hit my head

When I got out of bed

And I was saddened

I then slipped on a burrito

And stubbed my big toe

Then tripped on an armadillo

I faceplanted on the street

And when I got back on my feet

I noticed my broken window

I noticed red dirt, and cactus needl-ees

And a block of adobe

Then there it was, plain to see

A postcard from New Mexicee!"

"Shh! No singing in the library!" the Librarian said

"DO I NEED TO SING "NOBODY SHUSHES ME" AGAIN!" Dan yelled


	3. Chapter 3

"So, you want personal vendettas against states? Right over there in the do-it yourself section" The librarian explained

"Thank you good sir" Dan said happily walking away towards the do-it-yourself section "Wait a minute! Drop the attitude! Let's go, he can't help us"

"I didn't say that! I can help you. But I want something in return" The librarian said

"Ugh, librarians are jerks" Dan said

"Let's hear him out" Chris said

"See that goon over there? He's got a new girlfriend"

"So?" Dan asked

"It's my wife"

"And this guy just mulls around your library?" Dan asked

"Silently mocking me" the librarian said

"The gull!" Dan exclaimed

So then Dan and Chris went into the car.

"I don't feel right about this… This is the librarian's business" Chris said

"No, it's perfect! We help someone get their revenge, and in turn he helps me! Karma!" Dan exclaimed

"Yeah but.." Chris began

"But nothing! Shut up!" Dan interrupted

"But I'm not killing anyone"

"WHAT!"

"I'm not killing someone for the librarian, that's a deal breaker"

"You've run over dozens of cyclists!"

"Yeah, but they all lived! I'm not killing this guy either"

"Now you tell me!"

"Well I was gonna say something inside but but…"

"But!"

"But then I didn't… You're right I should have…"

"You should have"

"I know! You're right…" Chris said. The goon walked out with a stack of books, humming a tune.

"I wonder if he knows how lucky he is" Dan wondered. The goon crossed the street and got hit by a passing bus. His library card fluttered to Chris' windshield as Dan said "I wonder if he knows how lucky we are. Well, ya date a married woman, get hit by a bus. Karma"

"I don't think Karma works like that…"

"You think you know how karma works?

Well I guess that's one of your many quirks

It's not like I can expect too much

You really are just still hungry from lunch" Dan sang

"I think I understand as much as you

Karma's not something that kills you

And makes you drop your shoe on the street

So then you have bare feet" Chris sang

"Oh whateveeeeeeeeer

Karma can hurt yooooooou!"

"I didn't say neveeeeeer

It just won't lose your shoooooooe!"

"What is your obsession with shoes these days?"

"Nothing, it's just interesting, like his faaaaaaace"

"To recap you don't know karma"

"I think I know as much as you do Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"

"Ugh, that didn't even rhyme!" Dan said after the song ended

"I couldn't think of a rhyme for karma on the spot, Dan!" Chris responded. They went back into the library and grabbed the goon's library card.

"Consider your back scratched" Dan said to the librarian

"Not by us, specifically…" Chris added

"And by that you mean…?" The librarian asked. Dan put down the library card. The librarian stamped "CANCELLED" on it. "So, you want to hurt New Mexico?"

"He does, I don't really care either way" Chris answered. The librarian took out a book titled "New Mexico: A Dark and Secret History". Dan skipped through the book.

"Devil's Throne…

Something the Devil owns!

Devil's wash basin…

I bet they have the devil's raisins!

Devil's highway…

I'd rather take my way!

See, Chris, I told you it was evil!"

"Now I think you're going a bit medieval

A tad bit barbaric"

"Oh would you just cram it?

I tell you this state is bad

Why must you make me so mad?

Just help me get revenge!"

"As long as you don't destroy my hedge"

"Umm, excuse me?" The librarian interrupted the song "It gets worse" he turned the page to "Hot Air Ballooning"

"Hot air balloons?

Those New Mexican buffoons

I should beat them with my bassoon

But it was stolen by that baboon…"

"Read on

It gets much stranger, son (HEARD: "SAWHN")

Those New Mexicans are crazy about ballooning

So if you want to get them in a way that's cartoony

If you wanna get revenge

If you want them who wronged you avenged

All I'll say is this

Destroy New Mexico's biggest

Festival of all the year

Albuquerque's Festival of hot air

The Albuquerque Balloon Festival!

And never forget… NEW MEXICO IS EVIL!"


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you sure about this?" Chris asked the librarian

"Why don't you ask my masters in library sciences" The librarian responded, pointing to his degree

"Librarians… you better be right about this!" Dan said, walking out

"Woah, check it out" Chris said, pointing at the man the bus had run over moments earlier being lifted into an ambulance.

"Am I gonna make it?" he stuttered

"Of course you are" The paramedic said unsurely

"See, he's fine!" Dan responded

/

"So you're going to New Mexico, why?"

"Dan wants to disrupt the Hot Air balloon festival

I just hope he doesn't use an anvil" Chris sang

"Why? And why are you singing?" Elise asked

"Because that state, New Mexico

Is no good, it broke his window" Chris sang

"That's completely absurd, and why are you singing!"

"Well, its Dan, what do you expect?

For his revenge to make sense in any aspect?"

"JUST TELL ME WHY YOU'RE SINGING!" Elise yelled

"I'm singing for one reason, just one reason at all

This is a MUUUUUUUUUUU-SIIIIIIIIIIII-CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"

"Can I come?" Elise asked

/

Dan was throwing things into his backpack for the trip

"Crowbar, hammer, flashlight, survival knife, throwing bricks, half a turkey sandwich, Brutus… yep, that oughta do". Dan slung his backpack over his arm; it broke and everything fell out. Chris walked in.

"All packed?" he asked

"Shut up" Dan said

"Elise is coming with us" Chris said

"I did not authorize that!"

"I already told her it was okay!"

"Unacceptable, she stays!"

"Then I stay and you can go to New Mexico by yourself"

They stared at each other for a few minutes before Dan said

"I get shotgun!"

"Nope!"

They got in the car. On the way there, Dan repeatedly kicked Chris' seat, due to him forced to sit in the back.

"All this driving is making me sleepy… Dan, stop kicking my seat!" Chris stated

"Dan, mamina mamina!" Dan mocked

"Something on your mind Dan?" Elise asked

"Why does she get to be in the front seat!" Dan asked

"Because its our car" Chris responded

"Well that's not fair! This is madness! What's she even doing here!"

"You aren't the only one

To whom New Mexico has won

I hate it too

The memories are stuck like glue" Elise sang

"Oh, now she gets to sing, too! What's up with that!" Dan exclaimed

"It was years ago when I was young

I was eating cotton candy; it melted on my tounge

But I was cornered by roadrunners and they stared me down

They took my candy and ran into town

Oh I've always hated New Mexico

More than you could ever know

I've wanted my revenge on that state so long

But I was scared people would think I was wrong

And right then there so soon

A cactus went and popped my balloon

So you see I hate New Mexicooooooo…

More than you could ever know…" Elise sang in her head for no one to hear over a flashback

"Hello! I asked what it did to you!" Dan asked

"…I don't wanna talk about it" Elise replied

"You can't say something like that and not follow up! Chris, back me up on this. CHRIS!"

But Chris was asleep. Else reached over to steer, barely avoiding crashing into numerous trucks. After that, Dan held Chris' eyes open with his fingers. "I don't think this is necessary" Chris said

"It really is" Dan responded

"But we're in the desert, my eyes are drying out" Chris said

"…blink!" Dan blinked Chris' eyes for him and smiled

They pulled up to a gas station. Everybody got out simultaneously.

"Anybody want anything?" Elise asked

"Just my sweet sweet revenge. And maybe some peanut brittle." Dan responded. He proceeded to stretch and yawn, only to be hit in the back of the head by a flying pinecone. Dan turned around to see it came from near a sign that said "Arizona" on it. He got angry and took out a notepad. He flipped through a couple of pages before settling on one and writing "ARIZONA" at the bottom.

"You'll get yours Arizona

Right after I get home-a

I will get my payback

I will burn down every shack

I'll burn your crops

And steal your mops

And drain your lakes

And fill them with snakes

I'll rob your stores

And pollute your shores" Dan sang

"Uh, Dan, Arizona doesn't /have/ any shores" Chris interrupted

"…shut up" Dan said "I'll kill your livestock

I'll shove them off the dock!"

"Dan, if they don't have a shore, they don't have a dock" Chris interrupted again

"Just shut up again!" Dan responded. Chris walked into the convenience store.

"Alright, I've got the granola, some fruit, a six pack of fennel juice and Dan's peanut brittle." Elise listed

"Did he give you money for that?" Chris asked

"No but don't worry I've got enough"

"I got chips, some chunky cheese wads, some chewy cheese wads, chocolate soda…" Chris listed

"Chris?" Elise interrupted

"…fizzle sticks, cocoa blasters…" Chris continued

"Chris, remember what we talked about?" Elise asked

"Which time?"

"About eating healthier"

"It doesn't count if its on a road trip, does it?"

"Yes, it does."

"Oh. Well, then I'll only get one thing."

"Thank you, I only worry about your health because I love –"

"Yes! Milkshake machine! I choose milkshakes!" Chris dropped everything and ran over there, then proceeded to hug the machine

"Okay." Elise sighed

"With cookies in them!"

"Chris!"

"It's still one thing if the cookies are _inside_ the milkshake!"

"Okay, but we're having salad for dinner"

"Dan said we were having Burgers"

"If Dan jumped off a cliff, would you?" Elise asked. Chris pondered it for a moment

"Chris!"

"We – ah- wu – eh - Well I mean it depends!"

"Don't jump off a cliff!"

"Well I wasn't planning on it"

"But if Dan jumped, you would?" Elise asked. Chris pondered that for a moment as well

"Chris!" Elise yelled. They then walked out of the store

"Took you long enough, I have to pee!" Dan said

"So? Go inside and pee, we'll wait" Chris responded

"There's no time!" Dan bared his teeth and breathed heavily

"Dan, calm down. I got you some peanut brittle" Elise said. Dan snatched it from her hands

"I'm saving it for later!" Dan said

"You should at least say thank you" Chris pointed out

"You're welcome, now hurry up!" Dan yelled "What is wrong with you people, GET IN THE CAR! Am I the only one who cares about revenge on New Mexico!" Elise began to get into the car; Chris stopped her

"Shouldn't we go?" She asked

"Hold on, I wanna see if he can fog up the whole window"

They passed by a sign that said "Welcome to New Mexico; Go home, Dan"

"It knows we're here!" Dan exclaimed

"Drop me off at the next exit." Elise said

"It's Roswell." Chris responded

"Er – um – Girl stuff." Chris stopped the car

"We'll take you into town" Chris said

"This is good. See ya!" She got out of the car

"Finally!" Dan got into the front seat. Elise ran off into the desert.


	5. Chapter 5

"That was weird…" Chris said

"What was?" Dan asked

"Elise just asked to be dropped off in the desert"

"Some people are desert people"

"Elise is not desert people" Chris responded. Dan proceeded to poke Chris in the cheek, inside of his mouth, and in his eye. "Ow!"

"Okay, from this angle it's gonna be difficult to keep your eyes open, so instead, every three minutes, I'm gonna punch you in the stomach."

"There's gotta be a more effect – OOF" Dan punched Chris "That was not even close to three minutes!

"Safety first!" Dan punched Chris again.

Elise was wearing a ninja costume and crept through the desert until she reached a fenced area. She took out her binoculars

"I'm starving. Shouldn't there be a rest stop or something? State hates me." Dan complained

"I'm hungry too" Chris added

"Ugh, it's always about you, isn't it! Well you're not getting any of my peanut brittle." Dan looked for his peanut brittle

"Dan, there's something I should tell you"

"Where is it?"

"Uhhh…. I ate your peanut brittle" Chris sang

"And at first I only wanted a nibble

But I ate a little

And I needed more, just a bit…tle.

I was hungry

And I'm sorry

You weren't looking"

"You now owe me a Ferrari!

That's unforgivable

And unpredictable

When'd you have time for that?" Dan responded in song

"When you were looking at the cat"

"For like a moment"

"It was chasing a rodent"

"I will mangle you!" Dan began to strangle Chris. A roadrunner ran out into the street and Chris, losing control of the car, ran over it.

"Oh no, I hope it's not another cyclist" Chris looked in the mirror. Dan and Chris got out and they looked at who they had run over

"I think you killed a celebrity" Dan sang

"How many roadrunners are in movies?" Chris sang back

"I think it's THE roadrunner"

"The one that makes the coyote suffer?

It doesn't even look like he"

"They use a LOT of makeup on TV"

"Whatever, I doubt I killed a cartoon

Though I may still be in trouble soon

It is New Mexico's state bird"

"It's good that this occurred

We solved two problems

The Over-populated Roadrunner kingdoms

And what we're gonna eat."

Cut to later that night where Dan and Chris are enjoying their cooked roadrunner

"You know, you never finished that song" Chris said

"What do you mean?" Dan asked

"The last line, you know 'And what we're gonna eat', never rhymed with anything"

"…shut up"

"Mmm… this is pretty good"

"Yep, we're just like Native Americans, living off the land"

"I don't think the Native Americans ran things over with their cars"

"Sure they did. Pass the ketchup"

"I don't have any ketchup" Chris said

"…USELESS!" Dan yelled and kicked the rest of the roadrunner away.

Back in the car the next morning, there was awkward silence.

"So… how are we going to –" Chris began

"Hy-dro-ge-eeeen!" Dan sang.

"Hydrogen?" Chris asked

"Shut up."

Later on, Dan and Chris ate at a diner.

"I can't believe they don't serve roadrunner. I thought you said it was the state bird" Dan said

"There really isn't much meat on those things" Chris answered

"But what's there is _very_ tasty!"

"So anyway, how are we gonna get the hydrogen?"

"Any second now a hydrogen truck is gonna pull up to refuel."

"Ah, it's really pretty out there"

"Who's side are you on, anyway? You got a crush on New Mexico?" A hydrogen truck then pulled up to refuel. Dan got up and told Chris to pay.

"Excuse me good sir, might we borrow a tiny spot of your high-quality hydrogen?" Dan asked

"I got one rule about givin' out my hydrogen. Ya gotta wrassle me fer it." The hydrogen truck driver explained.

"We have no problem with that. Chris, ATTACK!" Dan yelled. He and Chris beat up the truck driver and stole his truck full of hydrogen. Chris honked the horn.

"Good work back there, for once in your miserable life you didn't let me down." Dan said

/

Elise was in the dark of the desert dressed like a ninja. She hopped over the fence to Area 52.

/

Dan and Chris pulled up into the balloon holding lot.

"…why isn't anyone here?" Chris asked

"They're all at the pre-balloon launch bacchanalia." Dan answered

"Nuh-uh"

"Ya-huh"

"I read it in the book. It happens every year the night before the launch. Every fifth year they sacrifice a maiden to their pagan gods."

"You're making that up"

"Believe what you want"

"…you're not making that up?"

"Nope"

"We're in the middle of the desert, where would they even hold a bacchanalia?"

/

"Noo-lab, noo-lab, noo-lab, noo-lab" the balloonist cult chanted in unison. They were all crowded around a table on which there was a maiden tied up, ready to be sacrificed.

/

"Sick freaks!" Chris yelled

"What do you expect from hot air balloonists? They're just bad people." Dan responded, filling balloons with hydrogen.


	6. Chapter 6

As Elise was continuing her infiltrating of the military base, a song began in the background. And it went a little something like this:

Breakin' into a military base

That serious expression stuck on your face

Beating up the guards

Stealing their key cards

You're breakin'...

Breakin' and enterin'

Check the time on your watch

Kick a guard in the crotch

Destroy the security cam

Down the hall you ran

You're breakin'...

Breakin' and enterin'

Lasers in the hall

Hit the switch on the wall

Beat up the guard

And steal his energy bar

(Oh yeah, you'll need the energy! Because...)

You're breakin...

Breakin' and enterin'!

"Hello, beautiful!" Elise said as she opened a top secret holding room that had an eerie green glow

"That's the last one" Dan said happily, getting in the truck.

"Ah, good, I'm getting sleepy" Chris yawned. As they drove out of the balloon holding area, Dan took out his lighter. Once he had a flame, he said dramatically "New Mexico, consider yourself fired." And threw it at the window. However, the window was up so it landed inside the truck. Dan smiled as he waited for the balloons to burst into flames. They didn't, though, because the fire was inside the truck. Dan and Chris jumped out and the truck, and the truck ran into the balloons. They all caught on fire.

"Dan! Are you okay?" Chris asked.

"No!" Dan yelled "I just realized I threw away my good lighter!"

"You almost got us killed and you're worried about a lighter!"

"It was nice. I liked it..."

"Noo-lab, noo-lab, noo-lab" The cultists chanted, before being interrupted by an explosion.

"What was that?" One asked

"I think we better go check it out" Another added.

"But what about the sacrifice?" The first one asked.

"It can wait ten minutes" the other assured. As they ran out, they noticed all their balloons blow up. Mixtures of anger, sadness, and fear was yelled aloud by all. Tears were shed.

"Cry, you balloon goons, cry!" Dan taunted

"Dan! Be quiet, they can hear you!" Chris yelled in a whisper.

"You be quiet!"

"They must've done this!" a cultist yelled out.

"Oooh! They blew up our 'loons, blew up our 'loons

They blew our hot air balloons

What a fiendish thing to do

To blow up our hot air balloons!

Oooh! These fiendish fiends

So fiendishly

Destroyed our hot air balloons

What a fiendish thing to do

To blow up our hot air balloons!

Oooh! We're a cult, a 'loon-obsessed cult

You blew up our 'loons, now we're more depressed- AAAHHHHHH"

The cultists sang before being scared by a strange flying object none of them could identify, a UFO if you will. During the song, one of them had thrown a rock at Chris and knocked him out.

"A flying saucer? That's all I need. Great." Dan exclaimed as a green light shone upon him. As he levitated, he told whatever may be inside "If you're gonna probe anyone, probe Chris!"

"Keep your filthy tentacles off my -" Dan covered his crotch as the ship flew away. The pilot turned around to reveal it was...

"Ohai Elise" Dan said.

"What happened to Chris?" Elise inquired.

"...cultists." Dan smiled. "...what? He's fine! Ready to go?" Dan said while getting into the passenger seat.

"Almost" Elise stated while pushing the death ray control button. As Dan and Elise began wreaking havoc among the citizens of New Mexico, Dan began to sing.

"Oh, oh oh, New Mexico

It messed with me

Oh oh oh, New Mexico

So I messed with thee

I've gotten my revenge on this terror of a state

Now that I'm done I will just sit and hate

For not only does the devil love here

their meth is blue and crystal clear!"

"Though I still hate New Mexico" Elise began to sing

"Much more than you could ever know

It's good I've gotten it out

No more will I sit and pout"

At that moment, Chris began to wake up. He heard the music and realized there was a big finale going on. He jumped at the oppurtunity to sing again, and jumped up.

"Yo yo yo, New Mexico

Just a state, we hate it though

Now that my buds are done

We'll go and we'll have some fun" Chris rapped.

"For we all hate New Mex-i-co-o-o-o-o" all three sang

"Blaming asking rapping shushing eating codes explaining karma reading telling reminiscing arizona eating again roadrunners hydrogen breaking and entering cu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ults!" Dan yelled

"So much more than you could ever kno-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ow!"

THE END


End file.
